The Princess Club
by Jeemers
Summary: Tiana meets an unusual group of young women one day. Let the insanity begin!


THE PRINCESS CLUB

Tiana stared at the door in front of her. She wasn't sure how she got there, but her only option seemed to be the door, so she reached forward and opened it. As she did so, a bright light enveloped her. She blinked, letting her eyes take the time to adjust. Suddenly, she saw a hand stretched out towards her. Tiana grabbed it and allowed herself to be pulled into a mysterious room.

"Hi! I'm Ariel! Welcome to the Princess Club!" the hand that had reached for Tiana's cried enthusiastically. She was a young red-headed woman, with big blue eyes and a beautiful voice. Tiana blinked again.

"Princess Club?" she asked. Ariel nodded and gestured to the group of women around her.

"Yep! This is the Princess Club. You are one of the few privileged individuals that are chosen to join this wonderful organization!" Ariel gushed.

Tiana looked around at the room. It was very…pink. Lots of frills and lace, the décor was pure feminine. There were several other women in the room, scattered about, either sitting at tea tables or standing around talking.

An Arabian girl came over and smiled at Tiana. "I'm Princess Jasmine," she said with a flip of her massive hair. "We're always glad to get a new member."

"Not always, sometimes we get some real _weirdos_," Ariel whispered, pointing to some of the other girls in the room.

"Ar-iel!" Jasmine admonished, "Don't say that!"

"What? Some of the other girls here aren't exactly…sane," Ariel spun her index finger next to her head.

Tiana couldn't help but be curious. These girls reminded her of Charlotte. All of the pink and sparkles made her think of her best friend's bedroom. She felt a tinge of worry. Why was she here? Where were her husband and friends? Before she could get too upset, she felt someone grab her hand.

"Here! I'll introduce you to all of the other girls!" Ariel tugged her over to a brunette sitting at a table reading. "This is Belle, our resident bookworm."

Belle rolled her eyes without looking up. "And what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Ariel put her hands on her hips. "No need to get snotty, Belle. I just wanted you to meet the new girl. Tiana, Belle. Belle, Tiana."

"Wait…how did you know my name? I never told you," Tiana asked. Ariel just smiled.

"Well, this has been _riveting_, but I really must get back to what I was doing," and with that, Belle stuck her nose back into her book. Jasmine giggled.

"It must be some book. You've only read it, like, a million times!" Jasmine and Ariel laughed as Tiana looked a little embarrassed. Belle shrugged.

"It's just getting to the good part," she hugged the book to her chest, "I love chapter three!"

"Yeah, yeah, we love it for you," Ariel dragged Tiana towards the next person. A young Chinese girl looked up from her game of chess and smiled at the group.

"I'm Mulan. It's nice to meet you," she greeted, looking genuinely happy to see them. Tiana smiled back, but looked at the chessboard curiously. She seemed to be playing by herself. She glanced at Ariel who rolled her eyes.

"Mulan is the local braniac. She likes to play chess and backgammon all by herself," Ariel explained as Jasmine yawned.

"I only play by myself because no one else has the brain power to play against me," she said, and whispered to Tiana, "As I'm sure you could already tell."

Tiana couldn't help but giggle a little as Ariel and Jasmine looked offended. Ariel glared at Mulan. She jumped when Mulan blew a raspberry in her direction. Tiana laughed again, and Ariel looked furious.

"I'm going out of my way to introduce you to everyone, and this is the thanks I get?" Ariel melodramatically posed as she voiced her woes. Tiana stifled her laughter long enough to reply.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she made herself look serious, "Please continue."

Ariel stopped the dramatics and walked over to the other side of the room where a Native American woman was standing, looking majestic. Ariel gestured towards her.

"This is Pokey," Ariel said with a sardonic smirk. Mulan gasped and jabbed Ariel with her elbow.

"Her name's Pocahontas, Ariel! Don't be rude," she corrected the redhead who began to look indignant.

"Hey, she started it! I've always been nice to her, gone out of my way to make her welcome, and all I've gotten in response is silence," she leaned toward Tiana conspiratorially, "She's just cranky 'cause her husband Kokomo got shot."

Belle looked up in disbelief. She slammed down her book and stomped over to where the others were standing. "I can't believe you sometimes, Ariel! If you'd listen, instead of flapping your mouth, you would know that his name was Kocoum, and he wasn't her husband. He was her fiancé!"

"Butt out, bookworm! No one asked your opinion!" Ariel stuck her tongue out at the older girl making her even angrier. Tiana began to back away as the two girls argued, but she stumbled over a bucket and bumped into a woman bent over cleaning the floor.

"Oh ma'am, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" Tiana started to apologize, but stopped as she noticed that the woman wasn't paying attention in the slightest. She was scrubbing the floor with an intensity rarely seen. Her blond hair was pinned back into a bob, and her fancy princess clothing was worn out from exertion. Tiana noticed two other women, similarly occupied. One was a dark haired, fair skinned beauty, who was busy polishing like a fiend. The other had beautiful long blonde hair and was sweeping up a dust cloud. And all three were warbling out of tune.

Tiana slowly backed away from the group and came to a stop as Ariel and Belle stopped arguing. Ariel laughed.

"That's our resident Lollipop Guild: Cinderella, Snow White, and Aurora. They're terribly old and terribly senile," Ariel stated. Belle began to object.

"They're not senile! They're…they're…" as Belle floundered for the right words, Ariel and Jasmine began to snicker. Finally, Belle sighed resignedly. "Alright, they are a bit senile. But they have lovely singing voices!"

"Yeah, if you're half deaf!" Jasmine cried, as she and Ariel burst into laughter. Belle huffed loudly and returned to her book. Mulan, who looked bored, decided to go back to her chess game.

"Now, Tiana, if you'll look over here…" Ariel started to continue but was interrupted by a loud noise outside. The noise, which sounded a lot like a knock, was repeated.

Ariel looked angry, but composed herself to cry, "Princesses! TO ARMS!" All of the girls in the room, except for the Cleaning Trio, ran over to a giant window that seemed to be where the noise was coming from. As Tiana walked over to the window and looked down, she noticed a large group of women standing under it, trying to ram a large log into the door down below.

The leader of the group, a shapely brunette, shouted, "Let us in! You know we deserve to be in there!"

Ariel shook her fist. "Megara, you whore! You're no more princess than Blondie over there!" A young blonde girl in a blue dress started to pout.

"I am too a princess! It says so in the Kingdom of Hearts!" she shouted. Ariel growled.

"Everyone knows that is a load of crap! It's Japanese for cryin' out loud!" with that she glared at Mulan (again). Mulan threw her hands into the air.

"I'M NOT JAPANESE, I'M CHINESE! There's a difference, you know!" Mulan snapped. "Idiot."

"Ariel! I, more than anyone, deserve to be in the club. Unlike some of your members, I am one hundred percent princess!" proclaimed a young red-headed girl. A small, glowing ball floated near her side.

Ariel scoffed. "I'd like to see you try, little Miss Wannabe Princess!" She turned to Tiana to explain. "You see, Tiana, we get a lot of girls that want to be a part of our wonderful club. However, we have strict regulations that we must adhere to. Some people just can't make the cut, like Shorty there."

Belle raised her hand to object. "Actually Ariel, she could be in the club. She fits all the criteria…" Belle began to argue when Ariel exploded.

"I WILL NOT HAVE ANOTHER REDHEAD IN MY CLUB! That's why I kicked out Giselle! And that's why that kid can't be a member!" Ariel began to make unintelligible shrieks to herself while punching the wall. The other girls backed away slowly.

"Oh, Ariel!" a voice sing-songed from down below. Ariel stopped her tirade and walked over to the window. As she gazed down, she began to scream silently.

"If you don't let us in, I'm afraid we'll have to resort to…un-princess-like measures," a tall redheaded woman threatened.

"Hit us with your best shot, Anya! We're prepared to withstand anything!" Jasmine cried. Ariel flailed around in anger.

"Alright, but you asked for it," Anya replied as she gave the signal to attack. All of the other girls began pounding and pushing against the large front door. An old wooden door, it had seen better days and was unable to hold up to the feminine punches. It fell open with a resounding CRASH, and the angry girls ran inside, itching for a fight. Tiana turned away from the window and looked for an exit. She didn't want to have anything to do with this anymore. In her haste to leave, she nearly bumped into Pocahontas who was still standing in her previous spot. She looked at Tiana with a wide-eyed stare and said just one word.

"Run."

So, she ran. Around the fighting girls, out into the hallway, past the many rooms, and into an open door marked 'Exit.' She ran right into her husband's arms. Confused, she struggled to get free. She twisted and turned until she realized she was lying in bed. Naveen held onto her as she caught her breath.

"Now, now, my princess, what is wrong? Did you have a bad dream? Do not worry, for your handsome prince shall scare the monsters away!" he looked around, "Now, where are they? Under your pillow perhaps?" He lifted her pillow to look. Tiana began to laugh softly. He smiled at her.

"Ah, there is my brave princess, my beautiful wife, my radiant flower…" Tiana put a finger on his lips.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, frog boy," she smirked. He just smiled even wider.

"Ah, but I am right where I want to be," he squeezed her tight.

"Good answer," she replied and snuggled closer to him. She quickly fell back asleep.

THE END


End file.
